I got jumped by a bag of candy corn in Target.
I was walking by, minding my own business, when suddenly out of no where this massive bag of sugar just pummeled me.
I struggled, but he threatened that if I didn't buy him at that very second he wouldn't let me sleep for a week. He would find where I live and haunt me.
 |
| I had no choice. I had a sugar-knife in my back, don't ya know? |
For 48 hours the evil corn taunted, bullied, shamed, and rallied me to action. He wouldn't shut up. So I ate him. All of him. All of his devious, weirdly shaped little parts.
It took the better part of two days, but I won, fair and square.
Except...
He may have gotten me in the end. So my scale tells me this very morning.
I share my folly with you all so that you may learn from my mistake.
Should you find yourself in Target and see the enticing display of corn--run, do not walk, away. Don't think for even a second that the corn will stay in a pretty little pumpkin bowl as an homage to fall.
No.
The corn is evil and will not rest until you gain four pounds. Consider yourself warned.
%!http://goo.gl/fTtyw
ReplyDeleteThat's a pretty good price for candy corn.
ReplyDeleteYour too funny. Isn't that how it goes? We all think seasonal colored candies make a decorative and fun piece for the home. But it's too enticing!
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS from http://adventuresofasemperfifamily.blogspot.com
Uh oh. You're getting seduced! Watch out!
ReplyDeleteI get into HUGE trouble whenever Hershey's launches their peppermint white chocolate kisses. Those are my fuel during Christmas time. I could live off of them. I don't even put up the fight for those guys, but candy corn is evil!
ReplyDeleteDarn that candy corn! I MUST resist this year!
ReplyDeleteSee? You see that? We were meant to be. For I, too, fight a losing battle with The Evil Corn, as well as The Great Corny Pumpkin Thingies. #HoldMe
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing you haven't discovered the Oreo candy corn cookies. Most evil.
ReplyDeleteVisiting you from SCC's Wordful Wednesday.
thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com
You must! Just remember this post and IGNORE all those fancy displays at Target ;)
ReplyDeleteOh the Great Corny Pumpkin Thingies. I totally forgot those! I'm so glad to hear that you fall prey to them as well. It gives me a sort of comfort. A sick sort, I suppose. But comfort, all the same ;)
ReplyDeleteOk, someone tagged me in a pin today on Pinterest with those thingies. Are they good? Are they even more evil? *shudder*
ReplyDeleteAnd thank's for visiting :)
I love your sense of humor! Thanks for making me laugh! I'm a mommy blogger too, and often find myself a little crazy! Looking forward to following your funny stories! http://www.noholdingback1212.com
ReplyDelete