Hi all. I don't feel good. I want to punch my rheumatoid arthritis in the face. I hate starting the day feeling like crap. I hate waking up and needing to thaw out the stiffness before I can even brush my teeth. It's lame.
That being said, I don't want you all to think I'm living with a cloud of depression hanging over me. Sure, I can whip out the cloud whenever I want to. I can snap my fingers and find ten reasons to be sad. But that's not what I want to do. I'd rather whip out a hundred reasons to be happy.
Ok Pollyanna. You win.
I'm in a good place. I love where I live, I love my family, and I'm mindful and thankful of God's many blessings in my life. No, my life is not perfect. To say everything is peachy would be false. But to say everything is good is true.
I've had many reasons to be thankful lately. Here are a few of them:
1. My RA has gotten bad again. I was doing really well--I guess I didn't report that on this here blog, but I was. I had started some new medication and it was working. And then I got behind on the meds. Long, boring story about insurance miscommunication. Basically, I got it two weeks late.
But it threw me off big time. I've caught up with the meds again, but the RA is still bad. I don't know if its just being off the cycle of medication or a new flare up with all of its drama. We'll see.
But why am I thankful? I get to be reminded again about how wonderful my family is, how faithful my Lord is, and how sweet my life can be. That might sound a little loopy, but when you're in the midst of physical pain you have a choice: you can either see everything through grey or pink.
I've tried both and let me assure you, the world is much more tolerable with pink glasses. When you're sick or suffering in some way, life gives you way more opportunities to appreciate the small things. People bless you so much more when you don't feel good--I'm not talking about buying you presents and stuff like that (although I do love presents). I mean that a hug, a card in the mail, or a phone call can blow you away.
It's a good place to be. I'm ready to feel better, but I'm glad I've gotten a refresher on how awesome the people are in my life.
2. My 100 pound dresser fell on top of Chaucer and he wasn't even scratched. A few weeks ago I heard a loud crash and both my kids scream blood curdling screams. I ran into my room to find my 60 year old dresser flat on the ground. Coco was screaming in the corner. Chaucer was no where to be seen, and I could no longer hear him.
I had crazy adrenaline surge through me as I threw the dresser up. I still couldn't see him. "CHAUCER!" I screamed as I started throwing drawers away from me. There he was: flat on his belly under every last drawer.
He was purple and trying to get out one of those silent cries. I was screaming, Coco was screaming, and finally Chaucer was able to scream.
It took about five minutes for me to make sure that he was in fact fine. It took me about five days to get over it. Seriously, this boy has a busy guardian angel. One of these days I need to blog a list of all his crazy escapes from both injury and death.
3. Most recently, my big brother (the one that's the hero) was in two shootings in the last month. He's a cop who gives it his all. The other night--literally, just a few nights ago, he had just about everything bad happen that was possible for a police officer: away from his partner, crazy meth head who wanted to commit suicide and take out an officer while he did it, a jammed gun, and falling on his butt as the psycho charged him.
My brother made it. He wasn't injured, but it was a close call. The guy who tried to kill him was shot four times and as he was being cuffed, laughed in my brother's face.
Talk about sickening.
But also, talk about God's protection! I am so thankful.
When things like that happen--and not everyone can say they experience a brother being in a gun fight--you get to take stock of all your blessings. That person, and your relationship with them is magnified for you to truly see how special they are. I love my big brother so much, and while I'm not too thrilled about his close calls with death, I am thankful to get to appreciate him. Does that make sense?
Why does it take scary and painful things to make us appreciate our life and the people in it? I don't know. I'm gonna ask God that first thing when I get to heaven. That and why He made mosquitos.
Hope you all have joy-filled weekends.
P.S. These photos are from a little photo shoot my Dad and I did in the desert over Christmas break. I'm gonna share the rest of them with you next week!
