Why I'm Not A Crazy Coupon Lady

Note: This ISN'T me

 I consider myself to be fairly savvy at saving money. I visit the daily money-saving sites (like this one, and this one), I scrounge around for multiple copies of the Sunday paper, I clip and organize coupons, I plan my grocery trips around what is on sale, and I get a good old-fashioned rush when I score a deal.

But.

BUT! Here is where I choose to separate myself from them crazy coupon ladies.

1.) I'm not greedy. Just because I have twenty coupons doesn't mean I need to take all twenty products and leave the next person waiting for another shipment.

2.) I don't shop like a fat kid. Yes, Twinkies might be on sale, but that doesn't mean I need to fill up my cart with them.

If Sees had such a sale, maybe.

Probably.

But that will never happen, and if it did I'd assume that I had died, gone to heaven,  and therefore not  worry about the consequences of a year's worth of Cafe Au Lait Truffles.

3.) I try not to be annoying. Like this lady. Ugh. I get the eebie jeebies just thinking about her.

****

Yes, that was the length of my list. But you know what? Those three standards really do set me apart from some of those crazy coupon gals. 

I know that TLC's Extreme Couponing is old news by now, but I feel as if I'm really bearing the brunt of it in my small town.

Here's the deal: we have two Rite Aids and one CVS. And while we do have a few major grocery stores and one Target (praise Jesus) we just don't have a whole lot in the way of drug stores.

And if you know anything about couponing you know that drug stores can be the life source for saving money. What? Didn't you know that? Ok, well in case you're in the dark let me have someone else enlighten you.

So here's my bif: I'm sick of showing up at Rite Aid on a Monday with Sunday's coupons, and finding out that the crazy coupon lady beat me to it and swiped EVERYTHING.

A few weeks ago (couponers will probably know EXACTLY what week I'm talking about) there was a sweet deal for some razors at Rite Aid. 

Sweet, as in FREE.

They were on sale for $2 and I had a couple $2 off coupons. My plan was to show up, buy a few razors, and then do a happy dance for getting something for free.

But.

BUT!

I show up at Rite Aid with my hairy legs and wilty coupons, and what do I find? The tell-tale sign of a crazy coupon lady: empty shelves.

Confound that crazy coupon lady!

So, I go up to the counter and ask for a rain check. 

A few days later I send Matt to the store as by this point my legs are too hairy to even leave the house.

My hunter-gatherer comes home empty-handed. He's been defeated by the crazy coupon lady. The newly acquired rain check is bitterly held like a miserable peace treaty.

Several days later, and significantly the last day to use the coupons, I show up looking like this guy.

I've got my coupons, my rain check, and barely any dignity left. But by golly I'm gonna get those razors.

Well, guess what? Yep. That's right. She got me again. Goshdangit.

So yesterday, MUAHAHA, I saw a deal. For noodles. Which you know, are always good for the munchkins. They weren't free, but I paid about $.45 a box. Yah, I've got some skills.

But the kinda pathetic part of the story is this: Matt, the kids, and I were all out shopping. We just needed a few things, and I had already packed a few coupons to help lower the cost.

But then I saw the noodles and remembered. I remembered my folly with the razors. I remembered the bitter regret and the hairy legs. I remembered the crazy coupon lady.

So we drove home, Matt rolling his eyes the whole way, Coco and CBud mute with crackers.

I hobbled into our home and grabbed my fat binder, some scissors, and prayed it wasn't too late.

When I arrived at the store I saw that she hadn't been there yet. And then I grabbed eight boxes, and wondered if I should try and piss her off by taking the whole lot.

I then remembered that she wouldn't know it was me probably has the manager's phone number on speed dial. And then there was that *hypothetical* little old lady that would be coming in after me for some much needed noodles. I wanted to leave some for her. Not her.

Now, one thing that needs clarifying.

You might suspect that I broke my own rule and shopped like a fat kid by hoarding noodles. But here's the thing, my kids DIG noodles, and they last for a long time. The box says until 2014, but that just seems gross. However, I do think they will last us quite a while.

And they're not Twinkies, remember?

They're also not Sees. Sigh.

But I do feel like I won this time.